We are so attached to what we think is the right thing. At least I am. “Is this right? Is this making me happy? Do I like this? Is this getting me to where I think I should be?” Satisfaction may be the most gratifying prayer of thanksgiving we can pray to God – even if it seems not to be a prayer – satisfaction is overheard by God.
The thing about my dog Kai is that he often sighs deeply. It is a dog thing. Or perhaps a black lab thing. He wanders a bit, finds a place in some sunlight, drops to the floor, lays his head on his paws and heaves a massive sigh. Perhaps I am projecting, but it seems to be a sigh of contentment – of satisfaction. He has lost his farm, its forest and its river, but in this moment, in this bit of sunlight, after this meal and this day’s bit of a run in the back yard with his favorite stick, and this morning’s belly-rub from me – this bit of heavy carpet in this spot of sunlight is quite enough and contentment is his response.
Dissatisfaction is a universal ache but a decidedly American cancer; the way malaria is a problem is certain parts of the word.
As the light breaks over the mountains to indicate that Easter is not far past the dark valley through which we will move next week, I am thinking about dissatisfaction – a very Buddhist aspect of spirituality.
“I am Resurrection” says Jesus. Jesus never complained in those final days. He asked questions, but he never complained. It is one of the things my buddhist friends most admire about my savior – the God in whose image I say I am made. And it reminds me that we Christians are being watched by the next generations who have the power to de-fund the church – able as they are to wipe it out of existence in only two generations – 30 years. Will they?
I guess that depends on what they see in us. Are we kind, forgiving, detached from form, humble, kind, gentle? Do they look at the church and see Jesus? Do they look at me and see that I am anything like Jesus – what he taught, what he did, how he lived?
I wonder if the best way to honor the sacrifice Jesus made on the Cross is simply to live so that the world could see that I am a Christian without their being able to hear anything I say or see anything I wear. Living kindly, gently and humbly and satisfied in Holy Week or Easter is the only authentic response to the Easter story regardless of what we do in church.