I have a question.


When you said “Do this in remembrance of me.”
what did you mean?
To whom did you speak?
Was it to me?
Was it to us?
Or were you speaking to holy people?
Because I am just a person trying to be kind;
trying to make sense of the grief and joys.

And what was the “this” to which you referred?
Was it worship or was it simply gathering in your name to remember?
What did you want the church to become?
Did you even imagine a church?
Or did you simply want a movement of people
who marched on the suffering with love as their tool?

Did you love life?  Did you love people?
Did you love your friends?
Did you laugh?
Did you kiss?
Did you flirt?
Did you heart nearly break when you had to leave them?
Was the loss of your friends what you were
asking about at Gethsemane?

When I was to die in Prague, these faces came to my mind. Did some come to yours? Whose?
Did you love the way Mary from Magdala’s neck
smelled when you hugged?
Did you love the way John looked at you when
the others were being idiots?  That mischievous smile
which you returned, sheepishly.

We have so little data about you except for a few things.
We know you hated false piety and spiritual pride.
We know you hated church when it focused on money.
We know you liked the people the church sneered at and judged.
We know judgement was not your posture.
We know you had a mischievous streak.
We know you liked land and farmers.

When you said “Do this in remembrance of me.”
Did you mean that we should come together
as a group of friends and eat a tasty meal or should it be tasteless?
The menus have changed from the first century.
We live in a greenish country.
May we come together and eat cream?
May we eat cakes and scones and sage sausage rolls;
and ginger-cream-cookies since our church has roots in England,
and we like English things?
May we bite into the strawberry and its jam, neither of which
your physical body never tasted?
May we tell the story of your life and death over these things too?
May we giggle?

May we remember you and laugh, or must we
remain stone-faced or sad?
What if there is no wine, but only tea and coffee and juice?
May we remember your story then, and tell it to each other?
You said, “They shall know who we are by our love.”
You said “Do not be afraid.”
You said ‘The Kingdom of God is among us.”
Did you mean that?
What kind of meal did you imagine?
Could it look like this? (insert your family photo at dinner here…)

 

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