We are all trying to find our way home.
I say, on Sundays, that I follow Jesus. What does that even mean?
Following Jesus has its ups and downs. For me, one of the downs is that our home is with God and God is with us – which means that we are home and at the same time trying to find our way home – trying to see the home in which we are living or “abiding” as John’s gospel so often says. We abide. We live in a certain fashion and we do so believing that God is within us and around us. So the God we think we are seeking or the holy guru we think will bring us to God or the church or the class or the liturgy is not a destination but rather simply a sign post.
We are tempted to think that God is up there and we need to get up there to find Him. When in fact God is back there – back at that last fork in the road. Back at that last signpost we saw and ignored because it did not match what we want.
The congregation is busy thinking about its pledges right now. Or at least it makes me less anxious to pretend they are. When I think how much money per day I spend on silly things – lights left on, food wasted, alcohol sipped and darkness dimmed but also light dimmed, gifts for friends – some I want and love and others I hold onto thinking they will be what they are not and will never be; when I think of the money I waste on possessions, on cable, on books I do not read or could have borrowed – I wonder about my pledge.
What is enough? And once I determine what is enough, might there not be rather more to give to God’s mission? I give about $27 per day to God through the church. I spend about $136 per day on bills, rent, savings, groceries, utilities and clay. And I spend a bunch more on taxes and spiritual direction.
That $27 per day gives the rest of my life and my spending integrity. It says “I believe in God…maker of heaven and earth, I believe in Jesus Christ…” Without making a bold and courageous pledge to God through the church, I would, I think, find the creed caught in my throat.
My way home is to live a good, kind and generous life. Not a glamorous or impressive one.