Enough for now as a sacrament


Enough.

In my fifth decade I am beginning to consider this word.  I am sure others, better people than I, have arrived at this word sooner in their lives and perhaps some never will.  It was a word I always considered dull.  Heavy. Small.

But then I think of Jesus saying that “it is finished.” and that is like saying “enough.”

In my twenties and thirties, enough was not even on the radar.  I wanted to do everything, see everywhere, experience all, take and see all.  Part of that was the exuberance of youth and part of it was a deep anxiety that I was not enough, had not done enough to please people.

Enter therapy.  Enter spiritual direction.  Enter “enough.”

These days I am reconsidering what “enough” means to me and to my life and how I live it.  Just one more email.  Check the phone once more in case someone has emailed or texted since I last glanced at the device two minutes ago.  Just one more pot on the pottery wheel.  Just one more jar of jam for the larder.  Just one more meeting.  Just one more letter.

If God were a human who could stop by, perhaps Whoopi Goldberg or Maya Angelou or Mr. Rogers, then perhaps God would lean over and cup my face in his or her hands and look me deep in the eyes and say to me, “Enough” you have done enough today.  Take a bath.  Use this oil on your legs and feet. Wear this robe. Stop. No television. Get quiet and then go to bed.  You have done enough for today.  There is much work to do and indeed you must do some of it.  But just for now, for this day or this week, it is time for Holy Sabbath-keeping.  This is my commandment.  That you love Me, one another and that you love yourself.  Part of loving yourself is being kind to yourself. Part of being kind to yourself is allowing for “enough” to be a word you embrace.”

That’s what God would say.  Says. Perhaps Kai has overheard these words and is busy modeling.

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