If one were to stand behind the altar in the cathedral’s Saint Martin Chapel, face the reredos (the wall behind the altar) and look up…this is what one would see.
Mary is holding Jesus, flanked by angels on either side and the rays of gold descend from Mary’s feet to the cross behind the altar.
Sometimes God seems to be like this for me. Sometimes God seems quite distant, and levitating in an unhelpful, super-spiritual way – far above wherever I happen to be. And when that happens, I know that I need to get very quiet and wait; much the way we, as children, were taught to stand still when lost.
What we so often do (or what I so often do) when I feel lost in this world, is increase my work and thereby the noise around me so that I do not feel the pain of feeling lost, in darkness, on such a large planet and with so many things on it of which I am scared – spiders, snakes, clowns and sometimes the church. But what I have learned over time is that if I stand still and get very, very quiet …then I can hear that small, still voice saying over and over again that I am loved beyond my wildest imaginings. And when I look up, I see angel feet. And then I begin to realize that the voices come from them, about me and us. Angels speak our beloved-ness to each other and in God’s presence. And soon I find I can begin to move again, one step at a time.